Don’t take your man shopping?
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags
her husband
or
boyfriend along shopping
This letter was recently sent by Tesco’s Head Office
to a customer
in
Oxford:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of
the Tesco Loyalty
Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is
considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless your husband
stops his
antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months
all verified by
our
surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
them in people’s
trolleys when they weren’t looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to
feminine
products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
an official tone,
“Code 3″ in housewares….. and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a
carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing
department and
told shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring
sausages and a
Calor
gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she
could help him,
he
began to cry and asked, “Why can’t you people just
leave me alone?”
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen
knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where
the
antidepressants
were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously,
loudly humming
the
“Mission Impossible” theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised
the “Madonna
look”
using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browsed, yelled
“PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the
loud speaker, assumed
the foetal position and screamed “NO! NO! It’s those
voices again.”
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in
here.”
Yours sincerely,
Charles bxxxx
Store Manager
sorry to make scroll
but it made me giggle
Sounds brilliant!
HAHA very funny, off to tescos to try it out!
you deserve a medal for all the typing also very funny
Ha, funny. I llike it! Surely shopping ain’t THAT boring! lol!
Loved it, made me laugh out loud…thanks
Very good. actually laughing in my office when I’m spose to be working, now everyones giving me funny looks!
I love it!!
hahahahahaha
It made me giggle too!
Very witty, thanks! I like it.
LOL it was good
He sounds an absolute star.
I bet you have to book a ticket to get into the supermarket when he is performing.
Haha lol luv it
Brillant 9/10
Excellent, very funny made me chuckle. i would love for it to be true, though i don’t think it is ***.
Lol
That will learn her!
All men should do this to avoid the boredom of shopping!
Loved it, very witty, although don`t think Tesco will be pleased. Have a star.
Thanks I need to remember those so I can tell my friends. lol needed a laugh.
he sound like’s my dad
Loved it, made me laugh
sorry to make scroll? is that in the kitchen department?
Brilliant – knocks spots off me in the lift from the shopping centre asking people for 20p to press the car park floor button they required – my mum still won’t go shopping with me because of this!
8/10,That was great,lol!
absolutely fantastic thank you